I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I wish i was in the wii world.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
