You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
