This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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