I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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