what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
