Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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