currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
