You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
