I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
