Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
