Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
