We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
