smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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