There was a lot of him and a little penis
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
