I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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