Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
