Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
