I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
