Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
