When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I could have mohawked her pubes.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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