I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
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