i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
look no pants
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
