she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Boobs speak an international language.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
