i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
