i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
