i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
