If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
