i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
