hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
