Moan for me like Helen Keller
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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