smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
