I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Randomize
