planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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