Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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