If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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