this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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