I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
