Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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