Just mADE A PArabola og urine
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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