After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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