She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
