so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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