i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
