I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
