Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
