She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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