You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
