I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
