Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
