I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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